Check Your Support System

 

This past week, I took a trip out to Nanjing, China with a partner of mine to visit a dear friend, and former partner.  It’s been two long years since I’ve last seen him, and since then, another partner that ripped me off, and robbed me blind has gone into hiding, but in the process, left my friend with a mountain of business debt, and a crashed business. He’s since recovered a bit, but together we ate and drank; talking and joking about some of our fortunes, but mainly laughing of the ridiculous and now hilarious circumstances we encountered. The three of us have been cheated, stolen from, and beaten down again and again by what I call the wild west of business, which unfortunately is the Chinese business landscape. And from the ashes of our defeats, we laughed, and really appreciated the losses, because of ultimately how it made us grow. To concluded, we understand that success is achieved through persistence and tenacity, and more often than not, the journey is about appreciating the hard times, than it is about enjoying the victories.

Okay, I’m not here to sing songs about persistence, you should know that already. But what I realized in reflection was that a critical factor that has kept us going in the midst of everything was our support system, in our case, our family. My partner that really got crushed has quite possibly the most amazing wife in the world, her support for him not only drives him to excel each and every day, but it’s allowed him to keep his dreams alive through all the pain and disappointment. For myself, and my other partner, our parents have been very influential in our lives, and without their support, there is no way we would have been able to make it out of the dark times.

So the importance of a support system is not just me speaking on personal anecdotes. Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, and Richard Branson all talk at great lengths of the help their support system provided them. Abraham Lincoln, was defeated for office 7 times, and had a nervous breakdown before he became president to end slavery, a trade that his wife’s family made their money in; talk about an awkward family get together. Here’s the thing, this is not an absolute, as many great successes in history achieved success without a notable support system. Although I would argue that many of the same great figures found success by discovering a support system outside of their family, such as Andrew Carnegie who grew up with the famous Thomas Scott as his mentor, etc etc. In the end, you should do whatever you can to increase your chances for success. In this case, your support system is probably largely in place, and they may be very supportive, or not, but here might be some things to help in the process.

Set expectations

This is appropriate for first time entrepreneurs, and even serial entrepreneurs. Frankly, it doesn’t really get any easier just because you’ve done it before, and being realistic about what will be needed of you, based on time, financial obligations, the stress and pain you will go through is very critical.  They say, take whatever you have planned, multiple the time and financial commitment by 3. But to be completely frank, if anybody ever knew how much pain it actually took, most would have never started in the first place. More importantly is realistically sharing your reasoning to why you want, and ultimately, why you have to do it, that is the most important.

Keep them updated

The same way I update investors and advisors, I update my family, mentors, and if at the time there is one, significant other. By letting those you care about pear into your world, it allows for transparency, and with hopes, empathy toward your journey. Your support system will provide advice whether you like it or not, make them feel appreciated and listen, whether or not they are qualified. And frankly, if they aren’t qualified to provide advice in certain areas, they can often provide some outside insight that could give you a different perspective.

Escape negativity but it’s not all about you

Entrepreneurs in many ways are selfish, egotistical narcissists that are focused on what they want to do rather do than considering others. We leap from cliffs with complete disregard of pain with little awareness that we are dragging those we care about along with us. And yet we are often confused when our significant other or support system can’t see things the way we do. There is a bit of compromise here, but also a bit of a perfect fit. I was blessed with supportive parents that can act as an emotional support when I’m low, others have found significant others that can do this as well, but it’s important to have the emotional empathy to know what you put them through is important for success. It’s critical to avoid negativity and those that don’t support you dreams, but be cautious about your dedication to get to the top. only to find that nobody else is up there to enjoy it with you.

I am a serial entrepreneur and investor with several international businesses, and have my hand in a number of projects. I hope these posts inspire or help you follow your passions