We Must Be Afraid! – How to Use Fear as an Advantage

In the past, I’ve often told people to be fearless in their pursuits, to always take the leap and to dream bigger and jump farther. Yet I’ve realized through my own analysis of how dangerous it is to actually be in the absence of fear. I’m still telling people to take leaps, big risks and dream bigger but now I’ve realized how important it is to have the presence of fear. People need courage, because courage at the end of the day is being scared but jumping anyway. Yet psychologically, if you continuously tell people to be fearless, what you’re really doing is helping them block out the potential consequences of failure. There are advantages to that and its often necessary to get people to take the leap at times, but when individuals are in the absence of fear, they lose focus, and they aren’t obsessive over a particular outcome, a trait that is often necessary to accomplish large endeavors.

Fear as a Motivator

Friends often ask me how is it that I can stay so disciplined when everyone else is out on a Friday and Saturday night. My typical response to how I can will myself to work so hard is that it’s the motivation to succeed and my dreams and aspirations that drive me to wake up early in the morning, yet it’s the fear of failure and nightmares of defeat that keep up working into the late hours of the night. As humans, we can psychologically block out fear yet I’ve discovered that this is not the most productive mind set. The ability to block out fear is important and I’ll make mention of it later but you mustn’t remove fear entirely from the equation. The pain of loss, defeat, and the consequences of inaction must be there in order to drive you when motivation to your dreams do not.

Make Fear Fun, but use it to focus!

Ever gone skiing or snowboarding? Done some level of extreme sports where your life can potentially hang in the balance. I love skiing, sky diving, mountain climbing and boxing, things where the element of danger is very real yet it’s never made me feel more alive and exhilarated. Take skiing for example, I’m more likely to fall on a green (easy) run than a blue (medium) run simply because the steepness of the fall changes my level of focus to where I am 100% honed in on the craft skiing. I personally love going through the trees when I ski, it’s somewhat crazy but I’m so scared to hit a tree that my level of focus on skiing jumps 10 fold and it allows me to maneuver even the most dangerous of runs. Fear is often what reminds you that you are alive, that there is risk and reward in life and if you make it fun and exciting, then through it all, even though you’re scared to death, not taking the jump is almost like death itself.

Being Fearful does not mean lack of positivity

We must be fearful and use it correctly but we mustn’t let fear destroy our mental stability. I am constantly afraid but ruthlessly positive. Never ever do I go into anything without a 100% positive mindset that I am here to win it all. Positivity is what keeps me sane, I do not worry about what I cannot control; remember Stephan Covey’s principle of influence. There are three buckets in life, things you can control, things you can influence and things that are out of your reach. I focus on what I can control and what I might influence but I do not lose sleep over anything else. It’s also important to know when to shut it off, to have moments of clarity and peace. I meditate, exercise, play with my dog, and spend time with friends. Find your exit because fear can consume you and the key to using fear is not consumption but balance.